Go Away
Maine: the Cannes of New England.
The French people famously (stereotypically?) hate American tourists. Once in Cannes, I laughed out loud because all the tourist brochures...were in French. In Maine recently, I went to two small harbors on Mt. Desert Island, and got the exact same feeling – at one of them.
One small town had houses with names, not numbers, for the street addresses -- plus a closed Visitor Center, icky public bathrooms, and people who never made eye contact. Its companion town, Southwest Harbor was full of smiling people running charming businesses. Exhausted at the end of the tourist season, they still answered questions kindly. The Farmer’s Market was in full swing, and the library offered fat, cozy chairs after lots of walking.
Lots of places give off the “Go Away” message:
I’ve visited plenty of churches where I had to work hard to find an unlocked door, and where there’s no signage about where to enter. Also, dark hallways and odd smells.
Trying to make an online donation the other day, I had to work way too hard to find the “give” button.
The boss who says “give me your honest opinion,” and then retaliates.
The committees that say “we want to know what you really think” and don’t actually mean it. 98% of the time people don’t actually want an honest opinion.
And the "come in" message?
I love a business where someone says hello right away
When waiting, a simple “I’ll be right with you” will make me stay almost forever. I know I’ve been seen.
The people who still pick up the phone – not required, and always a treat.
In a memoir once, the author said "my father was never less than delighted to see me," and I try to convey that to my own child. After 9:00 pm, my powers are much more limited, though.
Some "go away" messages are exactly right -- untrustworthy people, repeat boundary crossers, abusive people, bullies. "Go away" can be a step toward freedom.
I wonder what doors in me are locked, when they should be open? Where am I communicating “go away” in some form? Where am I closed up to ideas, experiences and new habits?
Who’s saying “go away” to you? And who’s inviting you in? Who are you telling to go away?
-- Mary Austin
Image above via Etsy. You can have one, too. Or maybe this: