Dear Bad Bosses...including myself.

Things bad bosses do...what's on your list?

Dear Bad Bosses –

Of course, you don’t know that you’re a bad boss.  Or, you don’t care. Still, having worked with you for many years now, I have thoughts. 

• There’s no need to scare people.  If you need to meet with someone, tell them why.  A former boss used to call on Friday afternoon and leave a message that they needed to talk.  By the time I called back, they were off for the weekend, leaving me wondering all weekend if I was in trouble. 

• Cookie licking.  You don’t need to weigh in on everything. 

• Say less.   We lose the important point in the flood of All. The. Words.

• Be clear about the timeline. Talking to myself here!  I’m guilty of this, when things are so clear in my own mind.  “But you didn’t give me a deadline to answer you,” a colleague protested recently.  “That’s why email has a reply button, so you can ask,” I answered, unkindly.  Their comment made me resolve to be more clear. 

• There’s no need for a meeting at 3:00 the day before a holiday weekend.  That’s a naked way to check up on people.  Assume everyone is done working.   It’s a fair trade for all the emails people read at night, and the time they spend thinking about work in their “off” hours. 

• Take all of your time off.  We want to take ours, and you set the example. 

And ways that I see where I’m a bad boss. Apologies all around!

• I throw new people in without enough information.  I have hated micromanagers over the years, and now I veer in the opposite direction, giving too little direction. 

• I fail to clarify when I’m thinking out loud. 

• I give up on the slackers, and work around them.   This is the thing I like least about myself as a leader. 

How about you?  What did your bad bosses do?  How about the great ones?  I’m eager to hear about your experiences.

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And the book I’m loving right now.

This riveting book, Emotional Labor, is giving me words for all the unseen work at the office, the nonprofit, the social event…everywhere. Rose Hackman puts into words the experience that all women (and some much more than others) have in creating a pleasant emotional environment for other people.

One pithy quote:

"While men are limited from childhood in the range of emotion they are expected to have the capacity of feeling, they are paradoxically given more space to be unfiltered in public. Women, treated like emotional thermostats whether they like it or not, not only must constantly manage their own feelings but they are also held responsible for the feelings of others. When women are told to “smile” by a stranger on the street, they are being reminded of this through harassment. When women going about their business are accused of having a “resting bitch face,” they are being reminded of their expected constant enthusiastic performance for the benefit of the world. A man not smiling while going about a task is never told he has a “resting dick face.” He’s likely treated as busy and important.”