Time Management Books are My Porn, And How I Found True Love
I need more, more, more.
The illusion of the productive day draws me in. Everything going according to plan – oh, yes, give me more! The systems for organizing time, getting things done, squeezing more out of little bits of leftover time: I’m a sucker for all of it. The triumphant finish, where the right tasks are complete – I love the shiny promises.
The book I read recently suggested choosing one thing to get done each day, which will bring immense satisfaction to the whole day. They called it the highlight.
Um, no. A highlight needs much more joy than a completed task.
The book prompted me to plan a highlight for the day. A highlight balances out a boring meeting, or a tough conversation. A highlight at the end of the day eases the slog. It’s fun to look forward to it. Will my highlight be a walk to the bakery for a cookie? Yoga class? Phone call to a friend? Sending out a crazy card? Passing on a great meme? Planning the highlight makes the hard stuff better. Some grueling days, I lay out my pajamas on the pillow before I leave for work, anticipating the deep breath when I put them back on again.
When my mom was sliding down into the final Parkinson’s spiral, I started going to the excellent resale shop nearby. Looking at sweaters was a respite, after the dementia care unit. When my dad was dying, I found the outdoor tables at the pizza place, and they were a haven. The sun and a big salad lifted the tension of the day.
Adam Grant says that time management is really attention management. Shiny thing! Oops, now, where were we…?
I’ve come to believe that time management is also happiness management. And, rest management. The days can’t be all slog, no fun. We stop working on things because we feel anxious, exhausted, afraid, or bored. A does of happiness – a highlight – always helps. This is true love; better than my time management porn.
Does your day have a highlight? Either a regular lift, or an occasional delight? I’d love to hear what works for you.
I don’t think we’ve been talking enough about desserts here. This is what I tried this week: Insomnia Cookies. They’re served warm! Definitely a highlight.
I always seek to leaven burdens with joy. In my weekly visits to my developmentally disabled brother-in-law that held significant challenges, we'd head to the movie theater. It really didn't matter whether it was a Marvel movie or a rom-com, just sitting in a darkened theater with the food we had snuck in was a treat that we both enjoyed. For my weekly runs, I treat myself with a visit to a luxurious fruit smoothie at the end of the self-styled 10k. In visiting a bedridden friend monthly struggling with debilitating physical and mental ailments that lived in a a city three hours from my home, I'd go out the night before and collect stories from music clubs and bars to regale him with and spur our laughter.
When our Mom was in memory care, sister Nancy and I would go to to HTeaO (the iced tea store) and get a coconut flavored tea after our visits. The flavor was delicious and also somewhat bitter, like those days. I've retired coconut flavor, but I still and always love stopping for an iced tea.
In the looking ahead department, my sister was going to take me to NYC for my birthday to see Hamilton and a couple of other shows...it was 2020. Did not happen. Since COVID I've learned that it's really important for me to have something to look forward to. I think of it/them like a string of white lights reaching into the future, becoming brighter as the planned event draws near. On deck soon: a local theatre show, Pub Choir!, a sisters' visit to our 96-year-old aunt, and something called Camp Atta Girl! in November.