There are many places and days that I am trying to reprogram at this time in my life. Mother's Day is one of them. I try not to remember that it was a day that my son's father and I had huge fight. I don't speak to my own mother. My mother in law who died last September is someone I would have loved to celebrate today with. So many complicated feelings today.
Thank you for the Anne Lamott quote! It is a great one to remember.
I’m at the stage where I’m enjoying both observing/applauding my grown (50s) daughters’ wonderful parenting skills, and also their expressions of appreciation to me as their mom. Receiving a sentimental card or note in a card is lovely - and a bit startling in this family of jokesters.
But not all our mothering experiences have been good - from miscarriage to IVF, and then individual child challenges. Reminders that even positive relationships have had both joy and tragedy.
Of course, any public or church mention of Mothers Day needs to be sensitive to all the nuances of the day. But get rid of it, no. Instead if only the media & Hallmark, et al would recall the origins of the day and soft pedal the unrealistic sentimentality -that would be an improvement.
Today and everyday I celebrate all Mother's even those who have never birthed a child, but have mentored many. Keep on loving and encouraging our Queens. 👑👑👑👑
I speak from the male perspective of the value of mothers. I know the good in me today was 80% created via my mother, mother-in-law, wife, grandmother, grandmother-in-law, and two daughters in their role as wonderful mothers. So I tend to view Mother's Day with spring flowers, sunshine, smiles, happy feelings, and memories of these females who made me who I am. However, I have been reminded of the "dark" side for the millions with not the same life experiences. Thank you, Mary, for making me more a more sensitive, sensible, considerate, and aware male. I will add one more story. My wife's grandmother was a loyal, "never miss a Sunday" member of her local church. But she stopped attending on Mother's Day. Why? Because it was a tradition to recognize the oldest and youngest mother in the congregation. She became exasperated with being always the oldest one. That story really impacted me. Not as devastating as the stories and situations you've shared here but still eye-opening.
Amen, Mary! Mother’s Day has always made this never-been-a-mom-miss-my-mom-hate preaching-Mother’s Day woman heartsore. I so appreciate your thoughts on this 💐🌸💕
I generally end up hosting or making the plans for Mother’s Day as a daughter mother and grandmother - in part because I work on Sundays so everyone needs to come to me. This year I’m drawn to the original purpose of Mother’s Day which was a call to peace. (I’ll be seeing my daughter and mother at different points this week but don’t have any plans on Mother’s Day)
There are many places and days that I am trying to reprogram at this time in my life. Mother's Day is one of them. I try not to remember that it was a day that my son's father and I had huge fight. I don't speak to my own mother. My mother in law who died last September is someone I would have loved to celebrate today with. So many complicated feelings today.
Thank you for the Anne Lamott quote! It is a great one to remember.
Such a hard, complex day. Hope it was gentle for you yesterday.
I’m at the stage where I’m enjoying both observing/applauding my grown (50s) daughters’ wonderful parenting skills, and also their expressions of appreciation to me as their mom. Receiving a sentimental card or note in a card is lovely - and a bit startling in this family of jokesters.
But not all our mothering experiences have been good - from miscarriage to IVF, and then individual child challenges. Reminders that even positive relationships have had both joy and tragedy.
Of course, any public or church mention of Mothers Day needs to be sensitive to all the nuances of the day. But get rid of it, no. Instead if only the media & Hallmark, et al would recall the origins of the day and soft pedal the unrealistic sentimentality -that would be an improvement.
That would be a plus! And I do love the sweet, sentimental, unforced parts of the day.
Today and everyday I celebrate all Mother's even those who have never birthed a child, but have mentored many. Keep on loving and encouraging our Queens. 👑👑👑👑
Indeed! I love that approach. Mothering comes from so many wise people.
I speak from the male perspective of the value of mothers. I know the good in me today was 80% created via my mother, mother-in-law, wife, grandmother, grandmother-in-law, and two daughters in their role as wonderful mothers. So I tend to view Mother's Day with spring flowers, sunshine, smiles, happy feelings, and memories of these females who made me who I am. However, I have been reminded of the "dark" side for the millions with not the same life experiences. Thank you, Mary, for making me more a more sensitive, sensible, considerate, and aware male. I will add one more story. My wife's grandmother was a loyal, "never miss a Sunday" member of her local church. But she stopped attending on Mother's Day. Why? Because it was a tradition to recognize the oldest and youngest mother in the congregation. She became exasperated with being always the oldest one. That story really impacted me. Not as devastating as the stories and situations you've shared here but still eye-opening.
Oh, ouch. That would be hard.
Amen, Mary! Mother’s Day has always made this never-been-a-mom-miss-my-mom-hate preaching-Mother’s Day woman heartsore. I so appreciate your thoughts on this 💐🌸💕
Such a rough day with those layers of your life.
It would be lovely to return to that call to peace. Blessings on your Mother’s Day.
I generally end up hosting or making the plans for Mother’s Day as a daughter mother and grandmother - in part because I work on Sundays so everyone needs to come to me. This year I’m drawn to the original purpose of Mother’s Day which was a call to peace. (I’ll be seeing my daughter and mother at different points this week but don’t have any plans on Mother’s Day)
For years, I reprinted the original Mother's Day Proclamation (call to peace) in the church bulletin. I never had a single comment on it.
What a good idea!