The path? Not the path?

What lessons have you learned slowly?

Walking in the woods recently, it was hard to figure out if I was actually on the trail.  Markers were in short supply, and fall leaves covered the ground.  My husband and I kept stopping to wonder, “is it this way?”  “Wait, that looks like the path, through those trees.” 

Maybe we were on the path…or maybe just following the place where someone else had gotten lost.  We came to the edge of a field and wondered if we should trek across the field to a road, to get back to the car. 

It made me think about how many times I’ve felt like I was on a path that turned out to not be right.  Or not even a path.  The other day, someone used the phrase “cul-de-sac thinking.”  I loved the phrase immediately.  Guilty!  It feels like progress because you’re moving…and yet hitting the same bumps in the road over and over. 

Oprah said once that we get lessons once as a pebble.  Then as a stone.  If you still don’t get it, it comes as a brick.  I’ve had a few boulders, when I ignored the pebble.

For years, I thought rules would keep me going in the right direction. Holidays should be celebrated on the holiday.  The holiday is when people can get together.  No big prints on short people.  Wear what you want, and love other people’s choices.  Have a work uniform.  I do love that one, for its simplicity.  People should send thank you notes.  A text is great.  I’ve flip-flopped on desserts.  They’re the very reason for living.  No, sugar is bad.  No sugar.  Ok, not every day.  My “emergency cookies” are in the freezer, and I often forget about them. 

Having kids makes your rules evolve fast. Any kind of group work requires a flexible mind. Other people give me so much grace, and that inspires me to extend the same freedom.

In the woods, where the path was hard to find, we ended up walking longer than we planned to.  That was no hardship on a sunny fall day.  In real life, I would like to have learned some lessons faster.  How about you? Is there anything you’ve learned along the way?

— Mary