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Kay Ensfield's avatar

Thank you for this reflection. I wish we could snap our fingers and fix the world.

Part of letting go of a difficult past is acknowledging that it happened. The people involved (?parents?) had many things happen to them to make them the people they were. Once their circumstances become clear we can let go of our past hurts and theirs. Acknowledgement and letting go isn’t the same thing as repression.

Buddhist philosophies of impermanence help me a lot.

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Mary Austin (she/her)'s avatar

Kay, yes, you are so right. The big work of adulthood, that balance of seeing and letting go.

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Kris Badra's avatar

It’s been 25 years since my mom died and 40 years for my dad, so I approached this essay from the angle of being the parent. I had major surgery earlier this week and my daughter flew in from Virginia to help me out. I’m so grateful she’s here. My aging body and slow healing are a reminder of my own mortality although I’m certainly counting on many more productive and active years! The cycle of life continues.

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Mary Austin (she/her)'s avatar

Kris, that’s interesting, that now you’re really the grown-up. Sending healing hopes to you after your surgery.

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Mary Ellen Sinkiewicz's avatar

You outdid yourself on this one, Mary. Thank you for the beauty.

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Deb Rubenstein's avatar

I completely agree. You've written so many powerful posts over the years but this one has a special power.

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Mary Austin (she/her)'s avatar

Oh, Mary Ellen, thank you so much.

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Lori Eaton's avatar

Oh, Mary. My vision is still so blurry I can barely see to type. You've written many poignant posts in the past, but for some reason this really slipped between my ribs. Maybe it's the new baby who peeled off a layer of armor. Or trying to care for my aunt from a thousand miles away. In the past few weeks, I've felt the urge (though resisted it so far) to get down on my knees and pray. To whom and for what I don't know. Then again, maybe it's just hormones. For now I'm trying to stay awake and listening. Thank you as always for your wisdom.

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Mary Austin (she/her)'s avatar

Oh, Lori, so much going on in your life and so many humans who need your care and love. Love to you as you juggle all of this.

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