This is personal for me because it involved a lifetime of learning and unlearning attitudes that were thrown at me ABOUT me. I spent a significant portion of my life living with true psychopaths that were incapable of emotion-both as a child and as an adult-and for me to have used them as a benchmark because of who they were in my life required serious help. It's hard to remember sometimes that what people think of me is none of my business, until I remember who they are and what they've done. I have a nice piece of "I'm sorry I was stupid" jewelry from Thailand I wear to remind me that I rock and rolled outta there like Elvis.
The hand me down treasures. I tried years ago to explain them to my son, the Hawaii t-shirts, now some of them as old as 20 years. But even he and I don't talk anymore. I had so many wonderful memories from living in paradise. I can put on my hoodie from the 2006 Ripcurl Pipeline Pro Masters event and it's like being back there, taking pictures. My son's t-shirts from DC United soccer camp, half of them autographed. The memories of driving to camps and games, bouncing in the stands with the Screaming Eagles. But the material stuff was all part of the background and the life was a lie. My best memories are alone in the water.
The bishop who spoke boldly but respectfully to the President at the Washington National Cathedral during the interfaith Service of Prayer for the Nation I believe is an example of someone who did not shy from representing the values of the institution she represented. She recommended that the immigrants entering the country be treated with mercy regarding their particular situations instead of being automatically deported back across the border. It took this courageous woman to speak truth to the most powerful person in the world to counter his own personal untruthful, uncompassionate statements.
The DEI issue has been an attempt over the years since the Civil Rights Act of 1964 to make it possible for our country to be more sensitive to those who suffer from the pains of discrimination and unequal rights. I wish I could simply don the garment of a person of color and become able to experience what that person has to endure on a daily basis. As a privileged white Anglo-Saxon Protestant male I can only sympathize but not empathize.
Jim, the bishop was an inspiring example. And, yes, the rollback of DEI is painful...and silly, since study after study says it's good for the bottom line, in addition to being good for all kinds of people. Sigh.
Love this paragraph: For all of us, even when we’re overwhelmed, doing something awkwardly is better than doing nothing. Seeing slowly is better than choosing not to see. Hand-me-down sweatshirts, yes. Hand-me-down beliefs, no thanks.
Mary, I write about beliefs I've shed. Some of those I clung to even when I was in my fifties. I would be embarrassed to tell most people about certain things I thought of as true. I'm sure I still have a ways to go. I love it that I can still grow and change. I was late to the party on so many ideas...and you mentioned many of the same ones. I had no idea why I should feel "white guilt," a phrase I first heard in college (but I was already fifty-one by then). I didn't know what it meant to be an ally. The list goes on and on. I want to blame it on the decades I was fighting for my sanity and dealing with terrible relationships. When my mom passed away, I took a sweatshirt of hers she wore often. It is not one I'll wear...it's white with black ink drawing of animals (like giraffes, for instance) that are wearing neon colored striped ties. Ha! But it hangs in my closet where I see it each time the closet door is open. These things are not just cloth, are they?
They never are just the physical item, as you say. I think you get a lot of grace because you were working so hard on your own growth and survival...that's such hard work, as you write about.
Docile?!
I love this so much, Mary. Better slowly than never at all.
Ashleigh, thank you!
Life has been full of epiphanies for me. Thanks for articulating many of the things I have experienced in regards to my own faith and belief system.
Thanks, Tom! So much for all of us to unlearn.
This is personal for me because it involved a lifetime of learning and unlearning attitudes that were thrown at me ABOUT me. I spent a significant portion of my life living with true psychopaths that were incapable of emotion-both as a child and as an adult-and for me to have used them as a benchmark because of who they were in my life required serious help. It's hard to remember sometimes that what people think of me is none of my business, until I remember who they are and what they've done. I have a nice piece of "I'm sorry I was stupid" jewelry from Thailand I wear to remind me that I rock and rolled outta there like Elvis.
The hand me down treasures. I tried years ago to explain them to my son, the Hawaii t-shirts, now some of them as old as 20 years. But even he and I don't talk anymore. I had so many wonderful memories from living in paradise. I can put on my hoodie from the 2006 Ripcurl Pipeline Pro Masters event and it's like being back there, taking pictures. My son's t-shirts from DC United soccer camp, half of them autographed. The memories of driving to camps and games, bouncing in the stands with the Screaming Eagles. But the material stuff was all part of the background and the life was a lie. My best memories are alone in the water.
Lots of memories, Laura! You’ve come far!
The bishop who spoke boldly but respectfully to the President at the Washington National Cathedral during the interfaith Service of Prayer for the Nation I believe is an example of someone who did not shy from representing the values of the institution she represented. She recommended that the immigrants entering the country be treated with mercy regarding their particular situations instead of being automatically deported back across the border. It took this courageous woman to speak truth to the most powerful person in the world to counter his own personal untruthful, uncompassionate statements.
The DEI issue has been an attempt over the years since the Civil Rights Act of 1964 to make it possible for our country to be more sensitive to those who suffer from the pains of discrimination and unequal rights. I wish I could simply don the garment of a person of color and become able to experience what that person has to endure on a daily basis. As a privileged white Anglo-Saxon Protestant male I can only sympathize but not empathize.
Jim, the bishop was an inspiring example. And, yes, the rollback of DEI is painful...and silly, since study after study says it's good for the bottom line, in addition to being good for all kinds of people. Sigh.
Love this paragraph: For all of us, even when we’re overwhelmed, doing something awkwardly is better than doing nothing. Seeing slowly is better than choosing not to see. Hand-me-down sweatshirts, yes. Hand-me-down beliefs, no thanks.
Rebecca, thanks!
Mary, I write about beliefs I've shed. Some of those I clung to even when I was in my fifties. I would be embarrassed to tell most people about certain things I thought of as true. I'm sure I still have a ways to go. I love it that I can still grow and change. I was late to the party on so many ideas...and you mentioned many of the same ones. I had no idea why I should feel "white guilt," a phrase I first heard in college (but I was already fifty-one by then). I didn't know what it meant to be an ally. The list goes on and on. I want to blame it on the decades I was fighting for my sanity and dealing with terrible relationships. When my mom passed away, I took a sweatshirt of hers she wore often. It is not one I'll wear...it's white with black ink drawing of animals (like giraffes, for instance) that are wearing neon colored striped ties. Ha! But it hangs in my closet where I see it each time the closet door is open. These things are not just cloth, are they?
They never are just the physical item, as you say. I think you get a lot of grace because you were working so hard on your own growth and survival...that's such hard work, as you write about.
Thanks Mary! Ahhh...to give myself that grace!