20 Comments
Apr 30Liked by Mary Austin (she/her)

I just discovered Ms. Austin, and this is the first post of hers I read. I must confess, I LOL at the idea. I love animals, have done a lot of rescuing in my life, and the photo of the rat on the rose cracked me up (I actually like rats. They're clean, intelligent, and make great pets). I know the idea is mean, but I immediately made a short list in my head of people I'd feed to some of my favorite animals (like tigers), and what animal they would be. There's no hate in me towards these people. Most have passed away and the others can't be found. What they have in common is the way they used and abused me, knowingly, often with smiles, and never an apology. Having healed to the point of self-love, instead of self-hate, I find myself wanting to tell them how what they did affected me. I don't even want an apology or a sign of contrition, I just want to be able to speak my truth and be heard. Since that isn't possible, I've been struggling with how to let go of not getting justice. I think that's why I found this amusing. It also makes a great writing prompt for a story.

Expand full comment

Gosh, what a horrible fundraiser idea. And the people of San Antonio had no objection? That failure to object is even more telling. I struggle, we all struggle with our relationships and society is there to help temper our worse instincts, until now. It takes energy to muster up anger. It takes feeding to keep the rage alive. Where are the mothers to pull these errant angry souls into societal norms? As a world it seems we have lost our "we."

Expand full comment
author

We have lost our “we.” That’s a beautiful way to put it.

Expand full comment
Feb 3Liked by Mary Austin (she/her)

Thank you, Mary, for your incisive focus carefully padded with humor and grace.

I feel like so much anger and hate is evident in our world that is easy to respond in kind. It usually takes me a moment to remember how much grace I rely on in my daily life, so I can try and offer it back to others. Yet I also feel it is important to recognize arrogance, contemptuousness and hate when it is presented and call it out. Sometimes I try to do this with as much kindness as I would like to receive; sometimes I just feel the need to publicly recognize dangerous forms of anger and hate.

Expand full comment
author

Yes, that’s so wise. It’s such a tricky balance these days. Is someone simply having a bad day, or are they choosing to be destructive?

Expand full comment
Feb 2Liked by Mary Austin (she/her)

I find I don’t have the energy to hate. So many more productive things to do and so little time. Besides, your husband is right, if he (or she) is an asshole then they are. Move on. Although, as a fund raiser it’s an interesting campaign 😁

Expand full comment
author

Yes! It does take a lot of energy, doesn’t it?

Expand full comment
Feb 1Liked by Mary Austin (she/her)

Wonderful. I'm horrified by the zoo's program; how sad and vengeful. I am pretty crabby with a certain person right now, but I've realized in obsessing about it (just a bit) that she is very, very stressed, and under some pressure that I suspect but am not sure of. And then I had to add her to my list of people to pray for.

Expand full comment
author

That’s a very kind approach!

Expand full comment
Feb 1Liked by Mary Austin (she/her)

I've got to admit that I did a little swearing at the realization. :)

Expand full comment
author

Well, of course!

Expand full comment
Feb 1Liked by Mary Austin (she/her)

This is very good! We all need someone like your husband in our life to stop our fixation!

Expand full comment
author

Right? Such a gift!

Expand full comment
Feb 1Liked by Mary Austin (she/her)

I remember well your big and lovely smile, and so I laugh too, imagining the confusion of the back stabber! Such a great story.

Expand full comment
author

I love that you’re laughing with me! ❤️

Expand full comment
Feb 1·edited Feb 1Liked by Mary Austin (she/her)

I am also married to someone who has the ability to set me free. “An asshole by any other name is still on asshole.”

Such a good post, Mary!

Expand full comment
author

Isn't that great, to get a better perspective from someone who knows us so well?

Expand full comment
Feb 1Liked by Mary Austin (she/her)

Yes…mostly ;-)

Expand full comment
author

Lol...yeah, true.

Expand full comment
author

Thanks for reading it! I’m glad it made you laugh!

Expand full comment