My past self gets a big hug these days and lashings of compassion. ADHD book...yep...now I know plus the dyslexia disalcus. Yet i still found a way and never gave up no matter how messy. So past self all our past selves deserve a round of applause
Great reflection Mary! So interesting to me that you described yourself as quirky duckling… always fascinating to me the difference between how we perceive ourselves ( I knew this past self a bit and duckling maybe quirky no- cool, confident are better) and how others perceive us. Great exercise would be : fast forward 10 years, what would you be thanking your past me for? Hugs
Wow, I love this. I actually remember part of one PAST LIFE clearly and had recurring dreams of a few others as well before I could speak. I remember waking up in my crib, surprised that my arms were not a man's arms with red hair and freckles. I met someone who died with me in a past life and they have become one of my closest friends; we finish each other's sentences. This life? I'm glad I had an amazing older schizophrenic brother to pull me out of the woods and mostly raise me. I thank my past self for not listening to a word my parents said and following my gut and my brother. If I didn't, I'd be heartless. And the "never talk about what goes on in this house"? If I didn't, there would be no explanation for why I imploded. I give my past self lots of credit for NOT trying to model after anyone else. I was 7 years old and realized I had no benchmark.
LOL re: the sweaters. I am grateful that past me listened to my mom - for once. She always taught us to get an education and become financially independent of anyone when we were older. Past me had enough sense to fall in love with and marry a good person. I like the idea of going back and "thanking" our past selves for the good choices we made. Too often, I find myself dwelling on the bad decisions and self-flagellating (emotionally, not literally). It's good to look for the positive. Thanks, Mary!
Past me taught me the value of regular, methodical investing and not touching the principal. Past me was more narcissistic evolving eventually into one who listens and empathizes more.
Strong work ethic, completion of education and means to support self, a wonderful father who was the role model for the men I married, the ability to reject the behavior not the person and my mom taught me the value of an ordered and clean house and the value of well fitting shoes!
I was thinking about completing school, too. I wanted to quit both college and grad school, and somehow pressed on. Like you, I'm grateful. And nice to have such lovely role models in your parents.
Past me loved sweaters too. And shoes. And well-fitting suits. Past me worked multiple jobs simultaneously and sacrificed much to get through school and then to pay off school loans and a mortgage to buy the too-big house I still live in. Past me had it easier than people my then-age have it now. I was hard back then but it was still possible. Now days, not so much. im grateful. to Past Me and to my parents who raised her with such hope and determination.❤️
Mary, thanks for the book recommendation! I only recently realized that some of my behaviors are very much ADD like. I thank past me for going back to school at fifty (I had the time of my life doing that) and for choosing to marry my husband (thirty years ago now) when I didn't think I ever wanted another relationship. I've often thought of myself as having "received" the gift of him, but your essay reminds me that I also "chose" to marry him. I can take some credit and thank myself. After a past of failed marriages and abuse, infidelity, their alcoholism and drug abuse, marrying him was the best decision I ever made.
Yay for past, wise you. Reading your posts, I love to see how much wisdom you've gained. I often read that ADHD is under-diagnosed in women, especially grown-ups. The book made me understand some friends better!
Yes...I'm for sure going to read it. I always wondered why I run after all the shiny new objects and have lost a lot of my ability to concentrate for long. Part of that I'm sure is due to scrolling habits but in talking to my son and daughter (she was dx with learning disabilities in kindergarten almost fifty years ago) we all see the signs.
My past self gets a big hug these days and lashings of compassion. ADHD book...yep...now I know plus the dyslexia disalcus. Yet i still found a way and never gave up no matter how messy. So past self all our past selves deserve a round of applause
Past You had a lot of persistence!
Great reflection Mary! So interesting to me that you described yourself as quirky duckling… always fascinating to me the difference between how we perceive ourselves ( I knew this past self a bit and duckling maybe quirky no- cool, confident are better) and how others perceive us. Great exercise would be : fast forward 10 years, what would you be thanking your past me for? Hugs
That’s a fun thought experiment! What decisions will bear fruit in ten years?
Wow, I love this. I actually remember part of one PAST LIFE clearly and had recurring dreams of a few others as well before I could speak. I remember waking up in my crib, surprised that my arms were not a man's arms with red hair and freckles. I met someone who died with me in a past life and they have become one of my closest friends; we finish each other's sentences. This life? I'm glad I had an amazing older schizophrenic brother to pull me out of the woods and mostly raise me. I thank my past self for not listening to a word my parents said and following my gut and my brother. If I didn't, I'd be heartless. And the "never talk about what goes on in this house"? If I didn't, there would be no explanation for why I imploded. I give my past self lots of credit for NOT trying to model after anyone else. I was 7 years old and realized I had no benchmark.
That’s a lot of wisdom at a young age. Thanks, Past Laura.
LOL re: the sweaters. I am grateful that past me listened to my mom - for once. She always taught us to get an education and become financially independent of anyone when we were older. Past me had enough sense to fall in love with and marry a good person. I like the idea of going back and "thanking" our past selves for the good choices we made. Too often, I find myself dwelling on the bad decisions and self-flagellating (emotionally, not literally). It's good to look for the positive. Thanks, Mary!
Your mom sounds like such a strong person! And someone who was ahead of her time.
Past me taught me the value of regular, methodical investing and not touching the principal. Past me was more narcissistic evolving eventually into one who listens and empathizes more.
Wise on both -- your evolution as a person and leaving that money alone.
Strong work ethic, completion of education and means to support self, a wonderful father who was the role model for the men I married, the ability to reject the behavior not the person and my mom taught me the value of an ordered and clean house and the value of well fitting shoes!
I was thinking about completing school, too. I wanted to quit both college and grad school, and somehow pressed on. Like you, I'm grateful. And nice to have such lovely role models in your parents.
Past me taught me to be resilient and survival skills navigating an alcoholic family and the chaos of my life. For that I remain grateful.
That's huge -- those are big life skills for all kinds of things, including serving a church.
Indeed.
Past me loved sweaters too. And shoes. And well-fitting suits. Past me worked multiple jobs simultaneously and sacrificed much to get through school and then to pay off school loans and a mortgage to buy the too-big house I still live in. Past me had it easier than people my then-age have it now. I was hard back then but it was still possible. Now days, not so much. im grateful. to Past Me and to my parents who raised her with such hope and determination.❤️
Oh, the suits, yes. And, yes, I got a boost from parents who emphasized going to work whether you felt like it or not.
Mary, thanks for the book recommendation! I only recently realized that some of my behaviors are very much ADD like. I thank past me for going back to school at fifty (I had the time of my life doing that) and for choosing to marry my husband (thirty years ago now) when I didn't think I ever wanted another relationship. I've often thought of myself as having "received" the gift of him, but your essay reminds me that I also "chose" to marry him. I can take some credit and thank myself. After a past of failed marriages and abuse, infidelity, their alcoholism and drug abuse, marrying him was the best decision I ever made.
Yay for past, wise you. Reading your posts, I love to see how much wisdom you've gained. I often read that ADHD is under-diagnosed in women, especially grown-ups. The book made me understand some friends better!
Yes...I'm for sure going to read it. I always wondered why I run after all the shiny new objects and have lost a lot of my ability to concentrate for long. Part of that I'm sure is due to scrolling habits but in talking to my son and daughter (she was dx with learning disabilities in kindergarten almost fifty years ago) we all see the signs.